I find it interesting that Thanksgiving, a holiday steeped in American heritage, and American Indian Heritage Month both fall in November. Most of us were brought up to believe the classic story of the "First Thanksgiving," where the Pilgrims and American Indians shared a harvest meal in harmony together. Today, many American Indians tell a different version of the story. They tell of a feast that began with the hope of peace and friendship and ended in tales of loss. While they observe the month by celebrating their heritage, American Indians continue to fight stereotypes perpetuated by some of these traditional tales. Several universities and communities are using this convergence of events as a platform for dialogue to promote deeper understanding. What a fascinating conversation that could be!As a result of sensitivity surrounding this debate, there has been an attempt to disassociate Thanksgiving from historical events and focus on setting aside a special time to "give thanks" for the bounty we have on our tables and in our lives.
Who can argue with the notion of giving thanks? Yet for much of the year, these two simple words, "thank you," often go unspoken. It's not that people are ungrateful. But think about it-how often do you go out of your way to say "thank you" to those who have done something to help you or who have made a difference in your life? I'm not talking about the polite "thank you" that your parents taught you to say or the insincere, mechanical "Thank you for shopping at (fill in the blank)." I'm talking about making a sincere effort to let someone-a friend, co-worker, client, boss-know that what he or she did or said was truly appreciated.
We often hear from management gurus that rewards, recognition, and tokens of appreciation motivate employees. There are catalogues galore with gifts to give to employees as tokens of appreciation, such as a key chain or mug with a generic slogan of appreciation that every employee receives. Yet, we're missing the day-to-day, face-to-face encounters. It's the extra effort to stop what you're doing, step away from your computer, walk down the hall, look at someone, and say, "When you said or did that the other day, it really meant a lot. Thank you for doing that."
The benefits of saying "thank you" are simply illustrated in a fond memory I have of teaching fifth grade, a lifetime ago. It was my first year of teaching in a low-income, working-class neighborhood. Most of my students had not learned any social skills, let alone basic manners. They were often tough and crude. Lunchtime was an especially tense period of the day. I noticed that the tension began when the kids and the cooks interacted in the food service line. I realized that their mutual distain was manifested in scant servings, food uncaringly slopped onto the kids' plates, and wisecracks that went both ways.
In my naive determination to change this situation, I began an experiment with my students. I told them that as they went through the food service line they were to say "thank you" to each of the servers who put an item on their plates. At the end of the line, when they gave the last cook their money or meal ticket, they were to say, sincerely, "Have a nice afternoon."
The cooks, unaware of the experiment, were taken by surprise. The students continued this deliberate practice for a month with amazing results. They quickly figured out that they were getting great service from the cooks. In fact, their portion sizes increased and they sometimes got special cookies or treats that the cooks held out especially for them. The cooks found themselves building relationships with the kids, calling them by their actual names, and joking with them. By the end of a month, the tension at lunchtime had visibly lessened and there was a better atmosphere in the entire cafeteria. We ended the experiment but the kids continued to say "thank you." To reward the students for their participation, I hired a bus and took them to a nice restaurant where they had "to-die-for" chocolate sundaes. They were thanking everyone, including me-an experience I have never forgotten.
Saying "thank you" is contagious, appreciated, and important. There is a lot going on in our world right now that makes it hard to look at the positive side of life. I encourage you to shift your focus and use this season of "giving thanks" to reach out and thank the people who make your life better in big and small ways.
For the next month, let's all put extra effort into letting people know they are appreciated. At first, it may feel out of character or unnatural, as it did for my students. I guarantee that when you see the look in the eyes of the receiver and you realize that you have just made a large deposit in your relationship bank, you will know it was worth it. You may develop a new habit. Worst case, you may get extra food or a cookie!
All of us at ProGroup would like to thank you for your continued support. We appreciate the confidence you place in us as we go about the work of making our world a better place for people to work and live. We wish you the very best holiday season and look forward to the year ahead.
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