Article: Be a Mentor

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Be a Mentor

Part one of three

I was in the restroom of a very nice restaurant and when I shut the stall door and looked up there was an advertisement that read, "Be a mentor and make a difference in someone's life." Having written a book on mentoring and conducted many related workshops, I laughed out loud. I thought, "How commonplace the phrase 'be a mentor' has become." Then, on a more serious note, I thought, "Are we so desperate to find role models that we need to advertise for them in the bathroom?"

Must we really go to these extremes? I firmly believe that everyone can be a mentor for someone. In fact, I think many of you already are; you just don't have the official card.

The dictionary defines a mentor as someone, usually older and more experienced, who provides advice and support to a younger, less experienced person.

My definition is a bit different. I believe a mentor is someone who is willing to share his or her knowledge and experience in a way that supports another person's emotional, intellectual, and spiritual growth and development. Some people serve in this role without even knowing it. It's just who they are. In other cases, like John Bird's story included here, it's part of the cultural upbringing. And, sometimes, mentoring occurs in a passing interaction with someone in need of help, advice, or just a sympathetic ear.

The one thing all great mentors have in common, whether they know it or not, is that they have a learning focus. Yes, learning focus, not teaching. That means that they are there to help others in need of wisdom and guidance to learn. They act as mentors because they are tuned into the other person's emotional and intellectual needs that indicate this person is ready to learn—they recognize a teachable moment. Then, through their personal relationship, mentors focus on their protégé, not as an expert but as someone who is genuinely interested in learning about the other's experience. In this way, whatever personal or career support the protégé needs will be received in a useful way. Can you hear how that differs from a fix it or teaching approach, which usually starts out, "Well, here is what you should do," or "I had that same situation myself and here is how I..." A learning focus sounds like this, "What was that like for you?" or "What's getting in your way?" or "I had a similar experience that may provide some insight..."

There's much more! Click to read Part Two and Part Three.

Mentoring in the Native American Community

In November we honor American Indian Heritage Month. We have asked ProGroup Senior Consultant John Bird to share his story of mentoring. His perspective on the subject of mentoring is informed by his Blackfeet heritage, with a message that speaks to any person regardless of background. John describes growing up on the Blackfeet Reservation in Montana and the variety of mentoring experiences he had. But today, the knowledge transfer process is threatened. People don't receive the mentoring they need to succeed in Native culture or any other culture. John's story speaks from his truth and he issues a challenge in his article. Read Mentoring in the Native American Community.

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