Article: December Dialogues

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December Dialogues

December 2007 diversity newsletter

When I was asked to write one more December newsletter before my career in diversity comes to an end, I decided to take a new direction. In the past, I might have written about my newest December hot button—Christmas songs as ring tones on cell phones. I've been worried that cell phones with Christmas music will be sounding off everywhere, adding to the constant din of Christmas music that, whether you want to hear it or not, fills air space from November on. I fear that I will hear Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer chiming as the curtain goes up on the Lion King production I'm taking my grandson to see. BUT I don't want to be called the "Santa Slayer" anymore. For the past few years the December articles I published have been received as both enlightening and, in a good number of cases, controversial. That's because December in our multicultural world has become fascinating. As I pursue my interest in promoting interreligious dialogue, I will always keep in mind that December brings up the differences that separate us more than any other time of year. The reality is that when Christmas preparations, company parties, and gift purchases are on the minds of associates and colleagues, thinking about other religions and honoring them often becomes a "have to" rather than a "want to." In the United States, where Christianity dominates, December is a time when comfortable patterns and long-held traditions are eagerly returned to with lots of help from retailers and the media.

Those who are not Christian and do not celebrate Christmas accept this fact, and for many like myself, find ways to enjoy the "holiday" spirit.

A quick search on the web brings up many sites that provide insight into the different perspectives on December. One site I found is called, "The Muslims Survival Guide to Christmas," which offers ideas through the teachings of the Qur'an, their book of divine guidance. Another provides a fascinating forum for atheists discussing what they should do about Christmas celebrations. And there are many conservative sites voicing concerns about the "secularizing and neutering" of Christmas.

The "December Dilemma" I referred to in past newsletters continues and probably will for a long time.

This year I'm proposing that we replace the negativity that the word "dilemma" conjures up with a new mindset. What about turning the "December Dilemma" into a "December Dialogue"? Why not make an intentional and deliberate attempt to reach out to others in order to learn about their December and have them learn about yours? Notice I didn't say to "learn about their religion." That requires a whole different skill set. I learned long ago about the nuances of discussing religion and the way people listen differently when their deeply held beliefs are different from yours. When people ask me about my Jewish Hanukkah traditions I tell them about how we light candles for eight nights, one candle added each night, and give small gifts to the kids. I tell them about how I keep trying to make low-calorie potato latkes (pancakes) with no luck, and they think that is all cool. If I say that Hanukah is a minor Jewish holiday, I see them surprised. But, if the conversation moves to the fact that Jews do not celebrate the birth of Jesus the tone changes and can even become intense. What I'm suggesting is to have a December Dialogue that sticks to the rich traditions included in family stories, old and new customs, and, of course, favorite foods. Think about how many conversations you have been part of or have overheard about which night a family opens presents. Now expand that to include conversations across differences about December customs and practices and you have a December Dialogue.

A December Dialogue is a great way of being sensitive to the distinct communities in your midst. This December there is the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Adha, the Jewish Holiday of Hanukkah, the Buddhist holiday of Bodhi Day, the African American celebration of Kwanzaa. Each of these holidays would provide a great start to a conversation about their practices, promoting the notion of inclusivity by honoring and respecting the fact that not everyone is in the mainstream. To make this interesting try opening the conversation to include the diversity within Christian groups. Just think about the incredible new awareness that will come when we learn from our associates who have come from foreign lands or from different ethnic cultures about their Christmas or December celebrations. This country now has the combined elements of diverse cultures and religions to add color and joy to the world. Oh, and don't forget the large numbers of interfaith families that have established their own traditions, which can teach us a lot about how to be inclusive with love.

A December Dialogue is about things that really matter to others. It's about things with an emotional investment. It is my belief that being open to this kind of conversation demonstrates a high level of respect and honors the differences that are so abundant. There is room for this conversation in the workplace because it is already there, one way or the other. People don't leave their December thoughts at home.

Think about how you can get involved in these types of conversations. Keep in mind that this can be as simple as a lunchtime conversation with a co-worker, or a formally established roundtable conversation. The key element is that someone needs to start it. All it takes is a well- placed question like "What do you do on December 25?" It works every time.

In the spirit of the season and forever, I wish you meaningful conversations and deeper understanding of the beautiful world of differences that surrounds us.

Peace to all!

To read part two of Myrna's December Dialogue article, please visit Elements of a December Dialogue, including six useful steps to keep strong conversations open year round.

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